I personally know people who claim to like mustard and honey sandwiches, or Brussels sprouts, or country music, but I don’t know a single person who likes dirty snowbanks.

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Let’s face it: in snow country, there are some parts of the journey towards spring that are just butt ugly.

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But if you look just beyond the gray and grit, it’s delightful to watch winter soften around the edges.

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People start peeling off the layers under pressure from a warming sun on their late afternoon walks, and the dust hasn’t yet started to kick up every time a truck rumbles by.

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That not-yet-spring-but-thinking-about-it season gives you double the sky coverage, if you remember to look at the puddles and not the ick.

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The willows vibrate yellow against the desaturated landscape, and all around you can hear the snow melting off the roof tops and the robins scolding everything.

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The piles left behind by the plow are transformed into sculpted inukshuks.

I’ve always wanted to use “inukshuk” in a sentence but never had the chance before.

Inukshuk. Inukshuk. Inukshuk.

There… I’ve said it.

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Patience is in the air. Buds are biding their time, but if you put your ear really close, you can hear their little biological clocks ticking.

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Hints of green are starting to appear in the corners, and everything, and everyone, knows the time for new development, personal growth, and expansion is near.

Alfred Lord Tennyson had it right: “In spring, a young man’s fancy turns to thoughts of love.”

And the thoughts of middle-aged men?

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They turn to “Waddya think of adding another porch on the west side of the house?”

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People ask me how I think up weird things to photograph.

Most of the time, they just land right in my lap.

Occasionally they sneak up and hang mysteriously to the smooth side of my mug.

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This photo op took place last September. I was having mid-afternoon refreshments on the north porch with my Mom and almost had a grasshopper instead. Now, I’m as adventurous an eater as the next gal, but sipping live insects isn’t my cup of tea.

How do they do that? Do they have suction cups on the bottom of those tiny paws? (This would explain the finale of “OVO,” at any rate.)

I invited him to dismount. (I figured it was a “him”: no eyelashes, hella muscular thighs, and a cocky disposition.) After a pause just long enough to let me know who the head locust was in this negotiation, he complied.

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He was border-line cute, in a bug-eyed sort of way, so I got a little closer. Did those knees bend backward? Were they knees at all? Is that how chicken drumsticks work?

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I don’t know what was scrutinizing me and my big fat camera lens more closely: those strangely matte eyeballs or the non-stop waggle of the antennae. I got closer.

Wow… was that just one big eyeball, or a bunch of tiny ones, like they showed on “The Fly”?

On the basis of our growing intimacy, I let it crawl on to my hand so I could have an even closer look.

That’s when he scrutinized me with his chompers.

He scrutinized me good and hard.

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Was it a bite? A pinch? Can he flick with those things?

In any case, I know one thing for sure: the next time he shows up on my tea cup, I’m gonna bite first and ask my questions later.

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Lindsey Vonn for Best Actress

March 7, 2010
Thumbnail image for Lindsey Vonn for Best Actress

When individuals struggle with intrusive thoughts and try to calm the resulting anxiety by repetitive behavior, it’s called “obsessive-compulsive disorder.”
When networks do the same thing, it’s called “comprehensive coverage.”

It’s one of the reasons we don’t watch much TV. It’s not the only reason: we also like to read, write, play Scrabble, take long walks on [...]

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Secure In His Identity

March 6, 2010
Thumbnail image for Secure In His Identity

“I.D., please, before I can tag your luggage.”
It was five days after the Nigerian wanna-bomber set his pants on fire. We were traveling home from Christmas with the fam on Vancouver Island. Security at YVR was at Code Pat-Down-Grannies-and-Babies.
“Shoes, belts, laptops, creams and gels in a baggie, loose change, silver bangles, pacemakers and nose rings [...]

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On Hiring A Decorator

March 5, 2010
Cartoon Bird Nest

I occasionally flip through House Beautiful at the grocery store check-out line.
This pretty much sums up the interest I have in home decorating magazines. While I’m too cheap to buy the magazine, I am interested in the outrageous sums of money some people are willing to spend on what other people think their home should [...]

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Rick’s Music on iTunes

March 4, 2010
iTunes

Rick just got a royalty check for $51.04.

Here’s the breakdown:
$0.09 from Napster. $0.30 from eMusic. $0.12 from mediaNET. $0.07 from Rhapsody.
Just click on any of the CD covers here for samples of the secret sauce.

Here come the big hitters: $12.74 through Apple iTunes. $4.64 through iTunes-Europe. The balance (too lazy to do the math) came [...]

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Corn On The Cob

March 3, 2010
Corn

“… Ever since my early twenties when I smoked my first good cigar, I have felt that if there were no other reason to believe in God, Havana leaf would suffice. I’ve had similar epiphanies while biting into a ripe peach, a just-ready piece of Crenshaw melon or a great ear of corn.”
Amen, Norman Lear.

I [...]

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Men’s Hats Gone Bad

March 2, 2010
animal hat

Yes, I have hats on the brain, and yes, I’d like to move on just as much as you would. But if it’s any consolation, I’m just as fascinated with other people’s hats as I am with my own.
As an aid to species identification, hats on men can hardly be beat. For one thing, they’re [...]

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