Cell Phone Etiquette, Part 2

June 14, 2009 · 11 comments

Until recently, I didn’t realize what the fuss was all about.

Why are people so upset about fellow diners using their cell phones in restaurants? Inevitably there are people chatting with one another at every table anyway, and nobody seems to get their knickers in a twist about that.

That was until yesterday when we almost enjoyed breakfast.

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The couple at the table beside us were chowing down in relative silence, each with a section of the paper. There was only the occasional monotone interchange of “They have starter tomator plants on sale at Osh Hardware” type banter. When he declared he was going back to the room, she said she wasn’t quite done with her paper and would sit quietly over her coffee for a bit longer.

Liar.

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The second his substantial backside made it around the corner, she whipped out her cell phone and hit the speed dial. I don’t know if it was the thrill of a covert call or if the coffee kicked in big time, but as she waited for the recipient to answer, she appeared  to be hyperventilating like a competitive skin diver winding up for a shot at the record. The moment the call was answered, she let rip with the most shrill, inane, and relentless babble I had heard since using the restroom during a high school football game in mating season.

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Short of ripping the phone out of her hand and dropping it into her coffee cup, there seemed to be no way to staunch the flow. I didn’t of course, because that would have been plain old rude, so we left.

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But I am considering having a stash of business cards made for the next time that will read, “Voice too loud? Annoying friends and family? Call Sheila for help at 1-800-SHUT-T-F-U.”

Think they will sell?

In the meantime, the 4-panel cartoon is available as a notecard…

Get the card

cellphone-etiquette-notecard

Cell Phone Etiquette, Part 1

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Kendra July 8, 2009 at 1:35 pm

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Can I have some of those business cards??

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rickandkathy July 8, 2009 at 4:42 pm

Honestly, I’m thinking of getting some made up and distributing as Christmas gifts.

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Gail June 15, 2009 at 10:49 pm

I especially like Sue’s idea. And in similar goopy-ewww fashion, I suggest you get a dog and train it to pee on command on the leg of these obnoxious individuals. That could at least work for outdoor seating…. ;-}

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Sue June 15, 2009 at 4:41 pm

Fake like your getting ready to puke and then walk towards her table.

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Debra June 15, 2009 at 11:16 am

Can I have a few of those cards when you have them made up??

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Hoity Toity Baby June 15, 2009 at 4:26 am

It’s a perfect idea! I’d just simply walk over, place the business card on the table and leave.

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Hoity Toity Baby June 15, 2009 at 4:25 am

The business card idea is perfect. Just simply place them on the table of the MOUTH as you walk out of the restaurant!

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Tammy at The Butterfly Mind June 14, 2009 at 8:28 am

Next time try this: whip out your cell phones and have fake conversations LOUDLY. She’ll get the hint. Trust me. Not that I’ve ever done this, of course. I would never, ever, EVER do anything like this. Ever.

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Cyndi June 14, 2009 at 6:32 am

I liked L’l Bird’s idea for the woman not Rick!

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mathea June 14, 2009 at 5:57 am

Love the business card idea 🙂

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