Letting Jafar Have His Way With My Head

June 10, 2009 · 5 comments

Looking effortlessly elegant takes an obscene amount of work.

This is true for all women, but it has even more impact on those of us born with ambivalent hair.

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Take my head, for instance.

The top half of my head produces dry kinky curls, except for a patch just north of my right eyebrow. From the nape of my neck to the bottom of my ears, the hair is stick straight and well lubed.

Some days, the resulting fashion dissonance can really bum my hide, not to mention making me late for work. With very little effort, I can leave the house looking like a two-dollar helping of cotton candy on the ten-dollar cardboard cone.

This is not a great look for the boardroom.

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This is why I need Jafar.

Jafar understands the deep-seated angst that recalcitrant coiffures can create. So when I plunk myself in his chair and say, “I don’t care what you do with it. I just want to look gorgeous twenty-four hours a day,” he doesn’t snort coffee out his nose with laughter. He just gently pats me on the shoulder and says, “You already are gorgeous. Let’s just do something about the hair.”

With this, I remember that I love Jafar, in a customer and hairdresser kind of way. Once again,  I decide to let Jafar have his way with my head.

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His confidence is contagious. He executes his alchemy with mysterious goop and tinfoil and scissors that come in eight pieces.  Really. Eight different pieces that he uses in combinations and permutations that subdue even the most stubborn cowlicks presented.  It’s like having my very own  Edward Scissorhands but without the eyeliner.

When Jafar has pronounced me a work of art worthy of the Dubai annual hair show, Marjan sprays me with some magic fairy spit and blows me dry. I have asked Marjan to come and live at my house.  If she must, she can even bring her son. We don’t have enough room for them to each have their own rooms, but no worries. We’ll move.

My locks gleam with pampered contentment. The hair is symmetrically obedient and calm. I feel that I look professional yet perky.

And then I step out of the shop into the humidity. My hair promptly whips around, waves good-bye to Jafar and Marjan with the single finger salute, and yells, “Ha ha! I LAUGH at fairy spit!” And that’s that, until the next time.

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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Debra June 10, 2009 at 2:29 pm

I’m in love with my hairdresser too! A woman stepped on the gas full speed ahead and rammed into the front window of the salon yesterday! AND it was my evening to get my hair cut and colored! So, after my guru called me to say the salon would be closed, can we reschedule…I shut down…I couldn’t think! I was…”ahhh, ahhh, she did what? Thought her foot was on the brake?! Is the shop really going to close for the day? Glad no one was hurt! But, But, ahhhh, I NEEEEEED my hair done…NOW! Her solution? you ask, very interested in this garble of a story? My wonderful and beautiful and talented hairdresser CAME TO MY HOUSE! Did I mention I love my hairdresser too? 🙂 We’re all very happy today! 🙂

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rickandkathy June 10, 2009 at 2:50 pm

Wow!
And hmmm… I wonder if I could hire that confused driver to come and just give Jafar’s doorway a teeny nudge in a couple of weeks. Nothing permanent or life-threatening, you understand, but just enough… Did she leave a number?

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Tammy at The Butterfly Mind June 10, 2009 at 3:24 pm

Hey Rick & Kathy – you don’t know it, but we’ve met through Twitter. I’m also known as HikerTammy in the Twitter World. Love your site. I started my site about a year ago, mostly to take potshots at my 83-year-old mother, Butterfly, who leaves herself wide open. Seriously – she asks for it. Somehow I think we could be related (you guys and us, not me and her – I know we’re related; hmmm, unless I’m adopted … hmmm), since we leave no stone unturned when it comes to finding things humorous. Keep up the good work!

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rickandkathy June 11, 2009 at 7:20 am

Hi Tammy!

You’re a hoot! What’s your url? Give Butterfly a hug from us.

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Betty Crockett June 10, 2009 at 9:09 am

I sympathize with the hair drama, my hair has multiple personalities. I have given up on trying to do anything with it but a bun.

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