I”m in a pool for the Super Bowl. It’s a fund-raiser for Haiti, with half the money going directly to aid, and the other half being distributed to a few lucky winners in the pool.

It’s my first sports pool, and I don’t get football, but still, I’m kind of excited.

Here’s my understanding of how it works:

Janie came by with a 10 square by 10 square piece of paper, like a hundred-square bingo card. Everybody who wanted to participate ponied up to put their name on one of the squares. I signed up for three squares.

Apparently, at the end of each inning, Janie will use her super-hero ring to tabulate the conversions, or whatever they’re called. The number of Colts converted by the Saints is multiplied by the number of offside cheerleader wardrobe malfunctions, and… bingo! That lucky square holder wins!

Also, I seem to remember that there’s a “Grand Prize” for the person sitting on the pot during the final score of the game.

I think the whole system is a fine example of “win-win” sports theory. One is drawn in to participating by an altruistic desire to help earthquake victims.  However, once your actual cold cash is out of your hand, you can settle in and really enjoy the game.

Yes, once properly motivated by greed, you are free to set aside any preconceived bias about which over-paid, celebrity-studded, scandal-ridden team over whom to become dangerously emotionally deranged. Then, for four hours straight, you just enjoy the movement of the ol’ pigskin up and down  the field and cheer on your square.

I think I’m gonna enjoy this Super Bowl thing!