How To Pick A Gift For Your Wife

December 22, 2012 · 0 comments

[Note: Due to a technical glitch with our site (grrr… grinding of teeth… low-key wailing…) we are having to re-post this from two days ago. Thanks to the GoDaddy gurus for the advanced webmaster training, and to all who commented the first time around: your words are like apples of gold in settings of silver to our hearts. So sorry to have lost your sweet encouragement to the PCMFH (Pixel Chomping Monster From Heck).]

In anticipation of the upcoming winter solstice and the shortest day of the year, on the flight home yesterday I was going to write about how much Rick and I delighted in some of the unexpected light we were privileged to see this summer.

But as the plane was loading, the man behind me inquired of his bride, loud enough for at least three rows in either direction to hear, “So… what do you want for Christmas this year?”

And I found myself thinking about the gift of light in a different way.

It was late in the afternoon of December 19, so I’m guessing that, at minimum, the woman was wishing her husband might have thought about this question earlier.

She maybe also would have wanted him to consider the issue in a more private setting.

I didn’t hear her whispered response to his question, but I did hear his follow up.

“Really? There’s nothing on earth you’d like for Christmas?”

No answer.

Don’t get me wrong: no doubt this man loved his wife, and I do have some empathy for procrastinators who feel stuck when they awaken to the pressure of obligatory gift giving descending on their heads.

However, I have even more empathy for those whose greatest desire is to be seen and known and cherished well enough that the question is not necessary.

And I acknowledge that I am amazingly blessed in this regard.

On all the occasions that customarily involve the offering of a gift, Rick has never once asked me what I wanted.

He has simply paid attention, quietly observing my tastes and preferences, and harvesting insights into what delights my spirit, small things and grand, on the most ordinary of days throughout the year.

Then, when the chance (“obligation”) comes along, he translates that knowledge into carefully wrapped tokens of his love.

That, my friends, is how to pick a gift for your wife.

The best gifts are the ones you didn’t think to ask for, but that appear nonetheless…

… shining a confirming light into your world, bearing witness that you have been seen, and known, and loved.

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