1. Begin with the end in mind.

Cornhole (and this link is worth reading for the glossary alone!) is a really fun game that is equally well suited to a wild and wooly family reunion by the lake as it is to a friendly four-person round at cocktail hour. ([easyazon-link asin=”B007B8ED3Y” locale=”us”]In case you don’t want to build your own, this one has great reviews on Amazon.[/easyazon-link]) Everyone from two to ninety-two can play.

This is important to remember, because by the time you’ve primed the fourth board and then are told: “Whoopsie! We primed the wrong side of the first board and now have to do that one over again,”  you’ll need to have a firm grip on why this was a good idea in the first place.

It’s because cornhole is a lot of fun, and people will enjoy the labor of your efforts, possibly for generations, as long as no portly drunk uncle sits on the board at a family reunion or something.

2. Do your priming at the height of a spectacular Teton Valley fall afternoon with a built-in painting expert in residence.

It also helps if he’s your best friend, an artist, an ex-house painter, and handy with a belt sander.

3. If you’re a newbie to the painting world, prepare yourself to be tutored.

There are things you’ll need to know about covering a piece of plywood with white paint that you didn’t know you needed to know, but now do.

These gems of wisdom don’t come in a well-formatted handout at the beginning of the afternoon.  They sort of meander forth in dribs and drabs as the project progresses. But who’s in a hurry?!

Look around you at the amazing scenery, take a deep breath, really hear the rustle of the autumn leaves in the cottonwoods and aspens by the creek, and just chill yer irritated hormonal self.

This is another reason why it helps to have a built-in painting expert who also happens to be your best friend: he knows what he’s talking about–even if he only thinks to tell you after you’ve already done it the wrong way–he means only the best, and he loves you.

4. Only dip the paint brush an inch (give or take) into the bucket per reload. The closer the paint gets to the point where the bristles meet the frame (the ferrule), the harder it is to clean. And paint seeps north, my friend.

5. Check for drips as you go.

6. Wipe (aka, swipe vigorously with work gloves on) the surface to get rid of any dust or debris just before priming. Otherwise, you’ll seal all that schmeebage right into the primer.

Ignoring this actually works well for “artistes”: “Oh, look! There are the horse hairs from when He was a poor, undervalued plein air artist working out of his horse trailer!”

Not so good, however, for cornhole craftspeople dealing with pine needles and dead wasps mysteriously adhered to the raw plywood.

7. Put the paint bucket on a short ladder so you’re not having to stoop over every time you reload the brush: saves the back.

8. Brush with the grain (although everybody already knows that, Walt).

9. If you happen to disappear for 11 minutes to whip together some grilled cheese sandwiches, sliced apples, and beer for lunch, DON’T LEAVE YOUR BRUSH EXPOSED TO THE SUN AND AIR!

Apparently, it will dry out and be IMPOSSIBLE to clean and will need to be THROWN OUT!! (Wrap it in plastic wrap. In fact, have a large piece of the wrap of your choice handy right from the beginning of the project. You might not end up needing it, but it calms the nervous types on the job site.)

10. Two thinner coats are better than one thick one. (This tidbit showed up a full 24 hours after I had cleaned the brush, which just goes to show that this is one robust field of expertise.)

11. And this is my very own well-tested theory, put to use in the field with occasional wind-gusts, which only turbo-charges the proof-worthiness of it:

Wear good jeans, your favorite fleece, and current “best” trail shoes while you’re painting. It will completely change the way you look at “cleanliness on the job.”

In other words, if you can’t afford to make a mess, you just have to get through the project spot-free.

Almost.

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