Telling Right from Left

October 18, 2014 · 12 comments

Almost all of my friends have at least one trick to compensate for that maddening skill that somehow got skipped on their inventory before birth.

I know several highly competent—gifted, even—adults who need to stop and figure out “left” and “right” by surreptitiously forming the letter “L” with their thumbs and forefingers, noting that the hand that forms the correct orientation of the “L” is their left.

Me? Apparently I got a broken hippocampus: I was born without an inner GPS. I have the sense of direction of a mandarin orange: there is none. Stop me in the middle of a sentence and ask me to immediately point to where “home” is, and I will be, 100% of the time, wrong.

My compensating trick? A GPS on every device and dashboard.

horizontal stripes cartoon

follow Rick’s cartoons on Reddit

For Rick, the challenge lies in keeping “horizontal” and “vertical” straight. Fortunately for Rick and his fellow sufferers, the trick in this case is embedded right in the word itself: the “horizon” is “horizontal.”

Someone should quietly mention the trick to this seller on Amazon:


SACAS Funky Black & White Horizontal Stripes Opaque Tights

In all fairness, maybe she’s just a visionary thinker and has fast-forwarded to the end of the evening when she’s no longer vertical.

And for all our readers who are considering showing up as a zebra for Halloween, you’re welcome.

{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

Kathy F. October 20, 2014 at 7:44 pm

Maybe directionally challenged goes with the name. When heading to Vancouver I always thought Brian was going back to Nelson when we pulled out after stopping for gas in Oosoyoos.

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Carole Murchison October 20, 2014 at 3:24 pm

I’m with Rick! It’s good to know I’m not alone.

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kathy October 20, 2014 at 7:31 pm

Hoping the hippo helps here!

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Kristie Pham October 20, 2014 at 1:10 pm

I’m pretty sure I’m one of your data points for this article!

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kathy October 20, 2014 at 7:32 pm

Um… Yup. 🙂

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Susan H. October 20, 2014 at 11:52 am

A common conversation while driving:
“turn right …. no, the other right”.
“so, left then.”
This happens with alarming regularity and usually involves me.

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kathy October 20, 2014 at 7:33 pm

And yet, we still love you!

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Sue October 20, 2014 at 9:27 am

LOL!!!! :-))

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Sandi Fentiman October 20, 2014 at 9:10 am

What do you do for someone who may be between both–/. lol

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kathy October 20, 2014 at 7:34 pm

Focus, focus, focus… 🙂

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Louise October 19, 2014 at 7:37 pm

hmmm- out of stock, someone else must have got them all while I was trying to figure out which are left (and right)

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kathy October 20, 2014 at 7:34 pm

Hahaha… You are so punny.

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