Tag Archives: Victor Idaho

Skijoring in Teton Valley

What is it that makes humans crave the experience of hanging on to a rope on friction-reducing platforms behind something that has at least one horse power?

I thought I was familiar with most expressions of this compulsion: water-skiing and wake-boarding, tow-surfing (or is that “surf-towing?” I mean the one where the hero on the jet-ski tows a long-haired lunatic seven stories up the side of a wall of water, so said loony can careen her way down and across the wave, Maverick-style), chuckwagon races (shorter ropes, but still…), and so on.

(Does anyone remember me making a New Year’s resolution to use more precise punctuation and fewer parentheses in my writing?
No? Good.).

We enjoyed the full spectator experience of skijoring on the last day of the first annual Great Snow Fest of Teton Valley. (Oddly, there are no skijoring photos in that link. Good thing we’re here.)

Skijoring is an up-close spectator/photographer sport.

It’s as close as I’ve come lately to having an excited beast with sharp hooves and wild roving eyes come charging at me as FAST and HARD as it can go, steered by a guy who’s NOT watching where he’s going, while I hunker down in a snowbank, right about horsey knee-level, so I can get a good angle on the shot.

(As part of my writer’s resolutions for 2012, I was also going to avoid excessively long sentences.)

While much of the standard equipment is about as straight up as it comes — horse, rope, skis, DNA that compels you to seek thrills, partnerships, and ponies — there were a couple of examples of the long-armed reach of Silicon Valley. This guy, for instance, with a live-streaming webcam on his helmet as he goes over the final jump.

Skijoring finish-line judging, also for instance. Of course there’s an app for that, Silly!

(I was also going to mix up predictable word order as a way of keeping my writing fresh.)

Just like the rest of life, the secret appears to be communication, partnership, and trust. This young man in the blue coat, for example, seems to place an almost inordinate amount of trust in the belief that should his partner on the skis fall on impact, he will have the presence of mind to LET GO OF THE ROPE, seein’ as how the other end is attached firmly to the saddle. Which is attached to an excited beast with sharp hooves, etc. (See above.)

Is it just my inner scuba instructor speaking, or does this orientation of anchored rope, delicate spines, beast at a full-gallop, and serious air not strike anyone as a bit risky?

There were emergency vehicles standing by, mind.

This young “no guts, no glory” competitor sailed “pour-spout over tea cozy” in an attempt at a full-rotation flip off the last jump, and landed it at about 342 degrees, rather than the more physics-friendly 360.

And this is the quintessential pose of a “freaked-out sports mom” trying really hard to find out if there’s a concussion without further injuring an already banged-up ego.

(Did I also mention that for 2012, I was going to make a diligent effort to avoid  “quotation marks for emphasis,” as it runs the risk of reading like Steve Martin “air quotes.”

Sigh… )

Dogs are welcome everywhere here, as long as they are sufficiently controlled.

Makes you wonder what kind of temper this little controlee has. He’s probably a sweetie, but we know for sure that the controller is a mountain climber. Who else here would have a rope, a carabiner, and know how to use them? That’s one sweet knot.

We love Teton Valley.

Yes, we do. My choices in footwear and overall fashion style fit in very well here.

The community is friendly and supportive, the sun shines in January, and the women are just as likely to be driving the heavy machinery–and watching where they’re going.

These events are fun. And besides, it’s always good to get out for bit of air.


P.S. How’s it going with YOUR resolutions?

P.P.S. Happy New Year!

Teton Mountain Ranch: The Elk

I didn’t know I wanted a pet elk before Saturday, but it turns out, I do.

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Really, it’s not surprising. I have a long history of enjoying the company of pronged critters. But it’s been a while and I had forgotten how darned endearing and intriguing they are.

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In the first place, any animal who can grow a new tree out of its noggin every year has got my respect right off the bat. Even the ugly ones, like, say, a North American moose.

Oh, don’t even pretend that a moose is an attractive animal. Impressive, yes. Maybe even regal, in an Abe Vigoda kind of way, but attractive? Compared to this?

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If I was an elk sitting in a plastic surgeon’s office discussing possibilities for a nose job, I’d have this photo with me and just slap it on the desk and say, “This. This is what I want. And while you’re at it, I’d like the chin too, please.”

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Those gorgeous noses aren’t just for looks, either.

Steve had mentioned before we got in their compound that elk are very curious. And sure enough, as soon as we got within range, every head went up and they sniffed us up one side and down the other, all from 20 yards away. They were so intent on this sniffing business that I found myself wondering if I’d forgotten my deodorant.

Nothing like being around an animal with a good sniffer to remind you that, in spite of all our Ban roll-on and Ivory Snow and Old Spice efforts, we still stink like humans.

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In our previous post about Teton Mountain Ranch, I mentioned that Steve and Greg train their trail horses by having them tag along on the feeding runs they make.

Part of that training apparently involves being sniffed. Up close.

The horse seemed mildly disconcerted by this situation.

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But when a dozen elk bulls in full foliage joined in the fun, the training entered the advanced phase.

He looks worried to me. Does he look worried to you?

Steve and Greg had the situation well under control, though, and the elk all had a good chuckle about the whole thing.

Those elk… such kidders.

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Rick, I think I’ve changed my mind about the poodle puppy. Can we have an elk instead?

Heading Towards Spring

I personally know people who claim to like mustard and honey sandwiches, or Brussels sprouts, or country music, but I don’t know a single person who likes dirty snowbanks.

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Let’s face it: in snow country, there are some parts of the journey towards spring that are just butt ugly.

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But if you look just beyond the gray and grit, it’s delightful to watch winter soften around the edges.

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People start peeling off the layers under pressure from a warming sun on their late afternoon walks, and the dust hasn’t yet started to kick up every time a truck rumbles by.

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That not-yet-spring-but-thinking-about-it season gives you double the sky coverage, if you remember to look at the puddles and not the ick.

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The willows vibrate yellow against the desaturated landscape, and all around you can hear the snow melting off the roof tops and the robins scolding everything.

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The piles left behind by the plow are transformed into sculpted inukshuks.

I’ve always wanted to use “inukshuk” in a sentence but never had the chance before.

Inukshuk. Inukshuk. Inukshuk.

There… I’ve said it.

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Patience is in the air. Buds are biding their time, but if you put your ear really close, you can hear their little biological clocks ticking.

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Hints of green are starting to appear in the corners, and everything, and everyone, knows the time for new development, personal growth, and expansion is near.

Alfred Lord Tennyson had it right: “In spring, a young man’s fancy turns to thoughts of love.”

And the thoughts of middle-aged men?

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They turn to “Waddya think of adding another porch on the west side of the house?”

Fashion on Parade

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There I was, minding my own Fourth of July parade business, snapping photos of monster trucks and juggling pirates on the village insurance guy’s float when I saw him.

He couldn’t wait to see what was coming next, but as a law abiding citizen, he wouldn’t step out into traffic to see, preferring to keep his feet planted and lean into it instead.

That’s why I zeroed in on his feet… and those shoes.

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In case the significance of this fashion statement might elude you, let’s review a little basic parenting math, okay?

1). By law, you must feed your children.

2). When children are fed, they grow.

3). Children’s feet grow faster than any other part of their body.

This means that this little guy didn’t save these puppies to wear, year after year, in the American celebration of Independence Day. These were, most likely, the shoes he wore last week to Billy’s house and will wear three weeks from now to Gramma’s, except maybe he’ll put socks on.

They’re just his shoes, as in “… Jared, we’re going to be late for church, AGAIN!  WHERE ARE YOUR DANG SHOES??!”

Jared’s shoes: red, white and blue, spangled with stars and covered in post-modern stripes.

Now, I’m not from around here, so no doubt you know better, but this strikes me as an astoundingly patriotic fashion choice.

I took a second look around the crowd.

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The children of Idaho demonstrate the most remarkable “haute couture de Americana” fashion sense of any ankle-biters I have seen across This Great Nation. These little goobers were the most profound proof I’ve seen yet that I have chosen to live in a land of the Free and a home of the Brave.

Plus, they can make a hat brim out of darned near anything.

Not that they all sling ’em low and/or locked. Any jaunty angle, if worn with confidence, will do.

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Wouldn’t you love to share the paint station in kindergarten with this little charmer? I’ll bet she can and would flick paint at the class nose-picker without a moment’s hesitation.

She looks like the pint-sized Idaho version of my mom.

I loved her. I loved her saucy sweet face, the flags (she had one in each hand and was shaking them like maracas in time to the high-school marching band), her hat, and baby… those beads….

Of course, accessory confidence and flag skills weren’t isolated to the girls next door.

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The handsome tater tots were just as expressive in their flamboyant fashion sensibilities.
And, as in all communities, there was a wide range of tastes in evidence. Some were satisfied with a more refined approach.

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This elegant red-white-and-blue ensemble, set off with a modest yet decidedly “there” map motif and single strand of beads, was representative of the more demure side of the street. Simple, understated, yet bold enough to eschew a hat altogether in the hot July sun….

Again, check the shoes.

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I almost mommy-bit those wee calves. I didn’t, though. I could see he was struggling.

A flotilla of bead-tossin’ beauty queens had driven past and his well-meaning older sister had snagged and re-gifted unto him two additional sets of beads.

Not all gifts are warmly received.

Personal fashion sense will always have the final word, and this dude was definitely not a triple-strand kinda guy. However, when the necklaces are longer than your arms, plus you have a candy as big as your fist in one hand, paring down can be tough going.

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Of course, there will always be a place in the world for women of big hats.

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With this kind of flair, there will be no sun damage in this punkin’s future.

And, there will always be beach blondes with mothers who understand the value of a good set of scrunchies and bows.

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When was the last time I wore a scrunchie? I used to love the big fat ones. I don’t recall ever sporting patriotic ribbonage though. Not my fault. Not my mother’s fault. It’s just not the Canadian way. We feel somehow it’s slightly unpatriotic to be overly patriotic.

I do, however, respect and admire the unabashed American-ness of American pride.

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And in about eight years or so, when this little sweetie has traded in her Fourth of July head gear for the flippy skirt and pom-poms of the high school cheer leading squad, I plan to be among the admiring crowd cheering her on from the sidelines.

You’ll recognize me easily enough. I’ll be the one wearing red, white, and blue.